by Tori Vigil
I had another one of those synchronicity moments this past week. One of those times in my life when two, or more circumstances pop up that related to each other.
I was reading two separate books, not really related to each other, and in both of them the topic of a negative/complaining environment came up. Both books discussed how damaging such an environment can be on a person’s thoughts, emotions, finances and physical well being.
The shocker was that in most cases, one’s own self creates this damaging type of environment.
How many times in a day do you complain, gripe, gossip, blame or find a way to justify the things you don’t like in your life? Try going the entire day being fully aware of what you are thinking and saying and you might be surprised just how many times this happens.
I tried this some time ago for an entire week. I carried a notepad with me and made a note of every time I complained, gossiped, tried to blame someone else for some circumstance in my life. Every time I griped about the way things were, I was indeed surprised at myself.
It’s not easy to make a commitment to stop doing all the those things you have been used to doing for so long. I found myself having to replace bad habits with something more constructive. For example: every time I started to gossip, I stopped myself and instead said a silent prayer for that person. Every time I started complaining, I immediately changed my focus from what I didn’t like to how I could change it.
One of my favorite people to study and read is about Anthony Robbins. He is the type of person that learns things in life by asking a lot of questions, the right questions.
Here are some of the problem solving questions I ask myself:
* What can I learn from this?
* How do I want to feel right now?
* What can I do to change things now and in the long run?
* What’s good about this situation?
* Am I judging the situation/person to soon, or too harshly?
Taking a step back and looking at your problems in life from a different perspective really helps you to see different paths, realize different options that you may not have noticed before.
Why do we as humans even gripe, gossip, blame or find a way to justify the things you don’t like in your life in the first place?
The answer is because in some ways or another it’s to our benefit. We can be selfish beings at times. In that selfishness, we try to do what will make us feel good, feel better about our lives.
Some people believe that gossiping about others’ bad choices, or hard lives, might actually make them feel better about their own life. Or blaming others for your lack of finances is much easier than admitting that you made some poor choices and took the wrong actions that led you to where you are right now.
For some who have chosen not to pursue their dream of going to school and getting the perfect job, it’s easier to gripe about the world around them and how hard it is than to admit that you just haven’t activated your own drive and determination to go for it.
Though doing these things can provide a temporary relief, that’s all it provides. If you want to live in a complaint-free environment that builds self esteem, pushes you toward your dreams and makes you a better person, you have to start with yourself.
Tori Vigil is an author, speaker and reporter in the San Luis Valley. She can be reached via her website, http://torivigil.tripod.com